Tuesday, June 13, 2017
10 things we should practice
01、在一些特別場合中，有些人主動將主角的位置讓給別人，自己心甘情願當配角。
這並不是失敗，甚至可以說是一種策略性的勝出，
他讓出的只是一個主角的虛名，而贏得的卻是真正的實惠。
Just like playing Chess, you don't win a game by moving all your pieces forward,sometimes you got to move in back. It is also advisable to stay at defensive position if that year you are under bad luck or bad influence from some stars.
02、人很容易戴上有色眼鏡，高看自己，貶低別人，
認為自己聰明過人，能力超群，看誰都是豆腐渣，
唯有自己是朵花，什麼都不放在眼裡。
這種人遲早會走到末路，甚至會為此丟掉性命。
As Buddha said, see no difference in everyone especially skin tone and appearance. Don't judge people. Change start with you not others.
03、大家都聽說過“真人不露相，露相不真人”這句話，
意思就是：真正的聰明人身懷絕技而深藏不露，
絕不到處炫耀顯擺，而是等待時機一鳴驚人。
而那些到處炫耀顯擺的人，並沒有多少真正的才華。
Stay low profile, stay humble. Staying stand out and high profile only make you targeted by hunters.
Many of those who boast about their abilities are always roti kosong.
04、一個美麗的女人炫耀自己的美麗時，就開始變得醜陋了;
一個聰明人炫耀自己的聰明時，就開始變得愚蠢了;
一個有才華的人炫耀自己的才華時，就開始變得一文不值了。
Show your talents and capability by doing and executing task that will ease other people life. Not just saying and showing off which do not give value.
05、 過於炫耀自己的才華，就會壓制他人的表現空間，
損害他人的利益，因為你在表現自己聰明絕頂的同時，
也是在反證別人愚不可及，必然招致嫉恨和打壓。
在這個世界上，才華出眾卻被排擠的人隨處可見，
他們熱衷於自我表現，傻乎乎地把自己樹成眾人的活靶子。
不要抱怨蒼天不公，那是你不懂人情世故所致。
06、雄鷹站立著的樣子好像睡著了，
老虎行走時懶散無力仿佛生了大病，實際上這正是它們的高明手段。
真正聰明的人一定要掌握這種隱忍低調的做人絕學，
多一些深思熟慮，少一些鋒芒畢露，學會藏鋒與內斂，
做到不炫耀，不顯露，才能成就大事業。
Be patience, watch and observe others, be accurate, strike hard and fast.
Do not expose your weakness, those who know your weakness should perish and not let alive.
07、享受美餐時，要分一些給別人吃，這是立身處世取得成功的最好方法。
說到底，人與人之間交往的根本問題就是利益分配，
懂得這個道理，就悟透了人性的本質和社會的真相。
Learn to share your result, especially money and profit. Don't make other jealous about you. Share to create more friends. Especially when you possess a lot of money. To share not just give away, but to "hire", to buy other people time, can become part of the sharing.
08、單身也好，戀愛也罷，都只是人生中的某個階段。
沒必要羡慕旁人，也別對現狀抱不滿。
無論身邊是否有人陪伴，前方是否有承諾一起努力的目標，
生活中的喜怒哀 樂都需要自己去經歷並沉澱的。
正確地活著，每個階段都會帶給你更好的自己。
成長不是單純地為了脫單，而是讓自己有力量去體驗任何可能。
Life is a journey. Keep yourself inspired and motivated in every stage of live. Choose to be happy.
To Live is to become a better person compare to your yesterday self.
Success is not about breakthrough. It is the strength and courage to experience every possibility
09、男人粘人和女人粘人，沒有任何本質差別。
“粘人”是對彼此膩在一起的心理需求;
“依賴”是心理上永遠把自己當成一個長不大的孩子。
兩者均與性別無關。兩個都是“粘人”的人彼此粘在一起長久恩愛並不難，
但兩個都是“依賴”的人能夠長久相處極困難。
10、情感中，理想主義者，“感覺”大於“現實”;
現實主義者，“現實”大於“感覺”。
現實主義為了達成目標會妥協，理想主義卻像堂吉訶德一樣不知妥協。
所以，越現實的人越知道自己要什麼，越容易結婚。
越理想主義的越難結婚，而被人誤會為很現實的那些理想主義者最難。
這並不是失敗，甚至可以說是一種策略性的勝出，
他讓出的只是一個主角的虛名，而贏得的卻是真正的實惠。
Just like playing Chess, you don't win a game by moving all your pieces forward,sometimes you got to move in back. It is also advisable to stay at defensive position if that year you are under bad luck or bad influence from some stars.
02、人很容易戴上有色眼鏡，高看自己，貶低別人，
認為自己聰明過人，能力超群，看誰都是豆腐渣，
唯有自己是朵花，什麼都不放在眼裡。
這種人遲早會走到末路，甚至會為此丟掉性命。
As Buddha said, see no difference in everyone especially skin tone and appearance. Don't judge people. Change start with you not others.
03、大家都聽說過“真人不露相，露相不真人”這句話，
意思就是：真正的聰明人身懷絕技而深藏不露，
絕不到處炫耀顯擺，而是等待時機一鳴驚人。
而那些到處炫耀顯擺的人，並沒有多少真正的才華。
Stay low profile, stay humble. Staying stand out and high profile only make you targeted by hunters.
Many of those who boast about their abilities are always roti kosong.
04、一個美麗的女人炫耀自己的美麗時，就開始變得醜陋了;
一個聰明人炫耀自己的聰明時，就開始變得愚蠢了;
一個有才華的人炫耀自己的才華時，就開始變得一文不值了。
Show your talents and capability by doing and executing task that will ease other people life. Not just saying and showing off which do not give value.
05、 過於炫耀自己的才華，就會壓制他人的表現空間，
損害他人的利益，因為你在表現自己聰明絕頂的同時，
也是在反證別人愚不可及，必然招致嫉恨和打壓。
在這個世界上，才華出眾卻被排擠的人隨處可見，
他們熱衷於自我表現，傻乎乎地把自己樹成眾人的活靶子。
不要抱怨蒼天不公，那是你不懂人情世故所致。
06、雄鷹站立著的樣子好像睡著了，
老虎行走時懶散無力仿佛生了大病，實際上這正是它們的高明手段。
真正聰明的人一定要掌握這種隱忍低調的做人絕學，
多一些深思熟慮，少一些鋒芒畢露，學會藏鋒與內斂，
做到不炫耀，不顯露，才能成就大事業。
Be patience, watch and observe others, be accurate, strike hard and fast.
Do not expose your weakness, those who know your weakness should perish and not let alive.
07、享受美餐時，要分一些給別人吃，這是立身處世取得成功的最好方法。
說到底，人與人之間交往的根本問題就是利益分配，
懂得這個道理，就悟透了人性的本質和社會的真相。
Learn to share your result, especially money and profit. Don't make other jealous about you. Share to create more friends. Especially when you possess a lot of money. To share not just give away, but to "hire", to buy other people time, can become part of the sharing.
08、單身也好，戀愛也罷，都只是人生中的某個階段。
沒必要羡慕旁人，也別對現狀抱不滿。
無論身邊是否有人陪伴，前方是否有承諾一起努力的目標，
生活中的喜怒哀 樂都需要自己去經歷並沉澱的。
正確地活著，每個階段都會帶給你更好的自己。
成長不是單純地為了脫單，而是讓自己有力量去體驗任何可能。
Life is a journey. Keep yourself inspired and motivated in every stage of live. Choose to be happy.
To Live is to become a better person compare to your yesterday self.
Success is not about breakthrough. It is the strength and courage to experience every possibility
09、男人粘人和女人粘人，沒有任何本質差別。
“粘人”是對彼此膩在一起的心理需求;
“依賴”是心理上永遠把自己當成一個長不大的孩子。
兩者均與性別無關。兩個都是“粘人”的人彼此粘在一起長久恩愛並不難，
但兩個都是“依賴”的人能夠長久相處極困難。
10、情感中，理想主義者，“感覺”大於“現實”;
現實主義者，“現實”大於“感覺”。
現實主義為了達成目標會妥協，理想主義卻像堂吉訶德一樣不知妥協。
所以，越現實的人越知道自己要什麼，越容易結婚。
越理想主義的越難結婚，而被人誤會為很現實的那些理想主義者最難。
Monday, June 12, 2017
A PRocess/Event starts because of happiness?
Today someone asked the question
why we get married?
why do we have children?
Why do we have do this and that?
Ultimately, she said according to the processor, it is because it creates/bring happiness that's why we do it.
To think about logically, it is never entirely true or false things. It is just like quantum uncertainty, YES/NO and TRUE/FALSE. Why? it is because to Creates/bring happiness is a process and it requires time. Time is a dimension. Because the question itself never define the dimension of the time, so it can be short or long or immediate and etc.
While I was asked this question, the reason I get married is because: I thought it is time to get married, of course my wife and I WERE happy that time. But Come to think about it, did she met my gf criteria, the answer is no. So if we get married because we are happy, and yet we have many unresolved issue, we will end up being unhappy later? So ultimately are we happy?
Many believe that happiness is a choice, I have always remember what Kira said, first you decide then you go through. So you decided to be happy when you wanna start something. But when the event unfold, there might be many unforeseen events, that makes you unhappy. Basically, that is human emotion and reaction, that make you react. IF you response, means you use logical thinking and analysis you should not be emotion about it and you should always be happy. But how many people can response to a situation if something unfavorable happens?
Many happiness resolves with emotion such as love. Lets take a look on what consists of love. Some Dr. said that Love consists of 3 elements, Passions, closeness and commitment. It is a triangle spider chart. Many families are usually left with commitment only, there are no longer passion and closeness, it become empty love. A true love should have all three. The hardest to spark is always Passion. Does this related to the process? or even with happiness ? YES!
Most of the love relationship starts with passion and you feel tremendous happiness together. Because of this happiness you forget about each other selection criteria. You forget about logic. You tend to overlook about your partner weakness, everything seems to be so perfect for each other. Your love is overflowing, you never have time to take a see through the Love emotion. When time goes, the passion diminishes, some of the couple left with closeness element, thus the relationship will last. some left with commitment.
Quarrel and disagreement happen when the love level is low. Many problems such as personal weakness appear. I have a friend who never like guys who smoke, and never like guys who play computer game. But when she gets to know him first time, she knows that he smokes, yet because of sudden passion , overwhelming love emotion and also immediate Happiness made her make the wrong decision.
Whenever a person performs a job or a process it always involve these 3 elements, passion, closeness and commitment. If none of these are there, the process will stop. Same goes to love relationship.
I reacted to the situation today, because I always feel heart pain when someone close just spend without thinking too much. I guess I should have response better and being positive about it. Because she knows what to choose and likes what she chooses. IT is all about emotional selling, that's why happiness on the spot, motivation on the spot, you will choose to reacted to it. But should we think about more long term? think 3 times?
No matter what happen, as Buddha said, do not be stubborn, everyone has their choice, everyone makes their decision and they will pay for their karma(consequences), we can only be the teacher. Feel happy about every decision, that's how events will unfold, that's how we learn. Every experience makes us today. Because of the past we have the presence. All this shall pass, we should not be angry about it. Feel happy because you still have a choice.
Many of us may not have a happy choice to start with. Alot of parents sacrifice their whole life, they might think they will end up being happy. which still an uncertainty.
In terms of question why do we get married? Why do we have children? it is a logical decision making. So in the logical decision making, some of the elements should be happiness. If having sex is happy and the by product is baby, perhaps it is not a very logical decision, and it is a very irresponsible action. So ultimately logical thinking and analysis should be the main method of decision making, not just simple happiness.
Can ultimate happiness or greater happiness be part of the result or impact in decision making? Whatever we do ultimately we want happiness. money, family and car and etc. When does ultimate happiness means? the day you are dead? or married? or give birht? or an age? no one knows it is up to you.
I have a friend when he was young he is very poor, He keep working hard until college he studies well and open up a software company, and he becomes millionaire, and he keeps working hard and wanna get his company listed. But he was diagnose with cancer in his 30+. It is 3rd stage and he passed away just after 9 months. He told me he rather be rich and live for 10 years then living forever poor with another 50 years.
Sometimes decision making is very hard. I am not sure whether during his 20 to 30 years old, is he truly happy. I heard from his friends during that time he got many girls friends, and after that he married He spends his money happily and owe many cars and achieve many stuff in his 30 before his death. Is this true happiness?
So no one can predicts the future, ultimately 80% people make decision based on immediate happiness OR emotion. So when they go home they found out they made wrong decision. Some of them after many years married only found out what they have always wanted is not what they get. Because they REACT not RESPOND. I am a solution architect. To have fully automated and long term solution you cannot just JUMP from manual process.You need a short term solution and continuous process.
Be truthful to yourself and your partner. Try to change yourself first. Many of us hold grudges and grievance toward other especially family members. Remember when you pick up your phone to talk to your spouse NOW, you never sound like the day you both starts dating. WHY? things have changed. losing passion, losing closeness. only left commitment, you wish all this never happen. It is always good things, many of us stuck in a loop. trying to think that time will heal. But times never heals, human brain just forget.
Ultimately, you wanna improve the situation. The key is start communicating with your partner/spouse. Try many method, until you give up. LOL Is giving up will give you happiness? YES it does, I have a friend who got divorce and married again. so he found a very good wife. Every action will have reaction, but as a human we should respond not react.
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