4th of July 2009

4th of July sounds like some independance day, for me is the day I finally move out from my house and starts a new life "alone". I am really grateful and thankful for having good friends around, that offer me helps and supports. The only thing I grab from my house is my Inspiron 9400 laptop and the 1 TB external harddisk, cash and some company stuff. Other than that, just like my friend said, "two hands empty empty" and "two sleeves clear wind". So everything has to start from scratch.

Thanks to Mista Kai for your transport from my house to get Nick all the way to KL and then from KL all the way to Batu Tiga and then from Batu tiga with nick back to his working place again. I owe you one. Thanks for Nic for his Kia Spectra, really grateful enough that, after leaving home without house keys, car keys and even clothes I manage to have a spare car from my friend in such a short time. Really thank God for that.

And also thanks for Tan hui Chia, my friend in private piano teaching centre allows me to stay in her rented house and so happen it has one empty room there. I am really grateful that, I can move in on saturday itself. Even though we don't talk much and we don't really know each other that well, I guess is really nice to have you as friend.

After getting all the stuff, the night time and also 5th July I have been busy shopping around and then setting up my basic clothings and some basic necessities. Thanks to Siew siew for all your time and energy, I know what happened to me and between my family have given you emotional and mental pressured. I pray that you will be able to handle it well. I know these 2 days you must be very tired thinking alot of stuff and also shopping around with me.

I promise you, Siew Siew, in the future, no matter what happened, I would do the same for you to support you back. Thanks for the pants you bought me is really nice and comfortable:P Again just wanna thank you for your support when this is the toughest time in my life when I lost most of the thing in just one morning and start to setup all the basic stuff again. You will always be in my heart. And remember you are always kind hearted, nice and playful girl.

May be things have happened very fast, aggressive and drastic in our life for past 1 month. No matter how I will try my best to maintain our relationship. In my life, you are the first girl who gave me such passion, courage and perseverance to go through this tough situation. Fate has brought us together, and then my decision has brought us closer. Now is the time for endurance and perseverance, we got to maintain the sparks and passion so that the fire can burn longer and longer. I just want to tell you that I love you deep from my heart.

Thanks to shaun for his financial and moral support, thanks to brother lee lee who tried to source a house for me but failed:P and thanks for her moral support. Thanks for people who gives me emotional and mental support throughou this time. Thanks for my brother for offering his kelisa.

5th July night, I met with Jacqualine and chin tek, for some consultation and some idea on how to handle this situation and how can we handle our emotion and mental so that we don't blame ourselves and release us from feeling guilty. Sorry for putting you (Siew Siew) in this situation, is not your fault, is just happen that, things get triggered like that, sorry to involve you as a victim. Thanks for the curry fish head meal tonight Jacq, thanks for your advise and prayer. You have been very helpful to me all the time even your wedding doesn't offer us nice food:P LOL, sorry about that. I hope that God will bless you Jacq and Chin Tek with fruitful life and abundant happiness.

New life just begins, and there is more work to be done especially in my business and software development, May God bless my business grows well, and May God bless all those who helps, and grant peace and safety to my mom, and brother. May God bless Siew siew with abundant happiness. May all of us be granted the strenght and wisdom and perseverance to go through all the hardship.

Definition of love

I know I am celuping this from bible, but I find it true and meaningful. If you can achieve this kind of love you might truly, deeply, and madly in love with someone. LOL

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If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

--------------------------

Life itself is a process

At last I guess I come to know why life itself is a process, sometimes the result is not too important. Because result might be just something nominal, only the process the memories associate with it is valuable and worth keeping.

I am glad that I meet you, to know you, to be with you. Even the time we being together is short but then the memories and sweetness you have brought me is really an enlightenment of what is love and how love should be. With you, I know that there is still people who love with all their hearts. And this gives me strength to move even more aggressive towards my other goals of life.

You are kind heart, nice, fun and playful, thanks for giving me suprises from time to time. You really create chemistry between us and sparks for my boring company. Cause I am a noob in love and dating LOL. from you i know the love that makes me so self less and brings out my true best! And you are still doing it, even sometimes you get hurt.

Nonetheless, I will be waiting for your answer, no matter what is it, I will sure respect your decision. At the end of the day, life itself is a process, with parallel threads and multiple handlers that allows us to grow and experience life. Though many things have been fated, I will still keep my promise over you

付出

如果有一天,你發現你的付出,赴諸流水..別不開心,因為你更了解了付出的價值..

Found this on sheko msn status, find it very meaningful. Because most of the time we are fed up contributing and giving out love or energy to someone else. But sometimes we don't have the so call "ROI", but dont give up or feel sad about it, cause it allows you to realize the price/value of sacrificing/contributing .

Another Story

It started when I saw you in a wedding.
I approach you and talk to you.
I promise you I will contact you again..
From that time On... I keep on searching for you....
And..... We have met again.

My 3D modelling in Maya

Finally I have to learn a Maya in order to model my game character, most probably in Robots which I think is easier, but not sure how difficult human model would be, but I guess in Maya it should not be too difficult compare to CAD software which is more focus on Mechanical engineering.

Though Solid Edge is really easy to pick up and doing solid part modeling, but some how it human modeling the requires intense surfacing and soft mod, Maya is still a better choice. Here is my first model following the tutorial to model a temple and render using Mental Ray.



Not bad huh for Noob like me? Elaine said the pillar looks uneven, I guess is optical illusion, since the base and each of the angle is calculated should not be so uneven. Will try harder next time to model more complex stuff..

Diluted Heart

Whenever I call you, I get into long caller ringtone.
Whenever it gets through, you are busy.
And you always tell me you will call me back.
And I have waited and waited, until the flower has wilted and the time machine is invented.

Whenever I SMS you, is like big rock thrown into sea.
Whenever I receive your sms, anti matter has been discovered.
The only sms I receive is, wait for you to clear your problem and call me.
And I have waited and waited, until handphone has been phase out and you just make excuses you can't call me anymore.

Whenever we meet, it will be at wrong timing and wrong place.
When we finally meet other than wrong place with tight schedule, Murphy will start preaching his law.
The only time I can date you out, is like hiring an escort with me.
And the heart get diluted more and more, the friendship is become like electron meeting positron.

New Guitar Performance - Meteor

This song is sung by TM Revolution, if you watch anime : gundam seed, you will hear this song when first time freedom appears in the show. and the Effect is powerful with this song alone.

mp3 just visit here . I also uploaded to youtube, for better viewing.



ENJOY the MUSIC!

My 3D Modelling SUCKS

Damn I didn't expect after so many years of doing programming and all the language of talking to computer now I have to spend time doing modeling for my online game. I think to have multiple sides or iso metric view of the units, 3D is more feasible and faster for mechanical units, such as tank, robots, mech, wanzer, and so on. Those human character will leave it to Moshi. Current All this modeling and rendering is done in Solid Edge ST. Is damn easy to use compare to other Engineering Modeling software. May be I should get myself a copy of 3D max for human and surfacing modeling later. But at least Solid Edge ST (synchronous technology) allows noob like me to easily model it out in 3D format just by clicking here and there since dimension and accuracy is not that important. as long as the graphics looks good.

First I wanna do something like PAC MAN, but is trade mark so I get something like Final fantasy BOMB and Pac man LOL. So hilarious and ang gong gia.



Elaine said, that thing looks just like bowling LOL, I don't know how to do the texture and also surface. May be should ask some SEST expert. You know inside SEST can do bum mapping too.
next I think may be something too organic is too hard to produce. So I try to produce a Tank.



Damn I am not sure what I did for the texture, it came out like Peanut Butter, then elaine said is chocolate. She feels like biting it LOL!. And you see there is like almond nuts or hazel nuts on the surface. I don't know coarse iron looks like that. I thought US army has yellow tanks but didn't know it looks like a chocolate bar:P

That's it may be tommorow I will get more expert to draw a better tanks.

Recent Update.

When this blog started is all about guitar and music, but then, because every new song takes time to train and sometimes I just get too tied up with works, ended up this becomes my personal blog and writing craps about things I have done LOL.

Nowadays basically just too busy with projects, hopefully will get few more bigger project so will continue to be busy for the upcoming months. Other than that, I have finally decided to develop a online web based turn based tactical game. Is more like final fantasy Tactics and also front mission. Basically will be borrowing alot of idea from them. Before that, I wanted to do something like colonization/civilization style. I really like that 2 games from Sid Meiers. I think watched my friend played since more than ten years ago, when I was still in primary school, and he owns a 386 computer, and everything is runnin in DOS 320x240 resolution, I guess nowadays even a good camera phone has a higher LED resolution compare to that time.

So I went to check out some open source Colonization, and I found it at www.freecol.org. since is free I downloaded the game and tried it out. I guess is pretty similiar but with better graphic on isometric view. I also borrow a few terrain tile from them to start my game project. Since colonization has larger maps and scale. May be javascript is not able to contain it (according to my current skillz). And it has colonies and and stuff to get managed. But I guess at the end I might want to do something like that too combine with Age of wonders. Another great game.

After spending a few hours I have finished the javascript Isometric map. And also an action dialog box. Being talking to few others friend and also generating some good idea.

Moshi also draw me some characters and unit. I think she is good at drawing those vector and manga stuff Take a look at her drawing.

Because of ISO Metric view, I am not sure how can we do all the 4 SIDES, especially her backside. ZZzzzz.. none the less may be just finish the map, and some simple command to let the unit runs around first.

TM revolution - Meteor

Finally I got to practice this song, meteor by TM revolution, kind a hard on guitar. Doesn't sound so good at the beginning, but after some fine tuning and tranposing and rearrange now it sounds nearer to the song itself. But none the rest I will be posting the MP3 here soon, don't know what kind of Music Video need to do in order to post it on youtube.

Here is the english translated lyric. Just like how I feel about her.

---------------------------------------------------------------

They touch, although with icy fingertips

Illuminated by the frozen moon

My flawed heart still embraces the night, even as it burns out

That feeling that glittered off in the distance for a split-second - If it's love, I'll try for that vision

The light is freed and falls through the sky, sacrificing its warmth only for hope

The flame that's born of dying starts burns on in this, my final dream

If the sin that falls and covers everything turns to kindness, and if a thorn could become a smile

Like the unheard scream of a flower before it falls

The pain that searches for the fragility of a prayer stirs the period when the two of us met

The grief and the light are swallowed up by the waves, and in the midst of all this pain, you awaken

This bond that could be created because we were hurt is beginning to paint over the loneliness

Pouring my life into this; with whatever wings you have left - I'm begging you, please wrap me up in them

The light again falls though the sky, sacrificing its warmth only for hope
This mistake caves in and comes to an end, and my final dream continues on
---------------------------------------------------------------

Vestige...

My open hand was stained with blood,
The fractured dream was left to die,
It fell apart, having been crushed with a clenched fist.
These endless wings, so grandly spread,
Have become to me just as a chain.
Their weight, so dense, have disabled me from moving.

Like a child's the innocent eyes
Of people start to die.
Within the depths of disillusion,
They look for fleeting stars.

With these our lives,
The elevated lights,
They will be born, caused to bloom forth.
Here lies our fate,
To continue on unceasingly.
Carved in radience, the precious times scar as our remaining vestiges.

Our times were stopped, my tears were shed,
But to my life replacement was found.
I'm left to ask, is all I love fated to fade?

The sheer thought of a tomorrow
A dream painful to stir up,
An illusion much like feathers falling from the sky.
If they can say,
That this dazed pain with in,
Is truly what "to live" means,
Then the only truth is the bright and never fading you,
Leaving only scatterings,
Of our dazzling remains,
That so rapidly decay.

Thoughts?

Just read elaine food blog at http://www.kitchenexperiments.net/ and congrats to elaine for getting award for Mushroom Recipe of the Week!  LOL. HERE is the recipe

http://www.kitchenexperiments.net/2009/04/marinated-mushrooms-with-balsamic.html

If there is no link don't be lazy just copy and paste in your URL bar, if you like food you should just read about it. I didn't know she has more than 200 posts in year 2007 I just realized when the drop down folder listed those article count. Sorry my bad.

Nonetheless, today just feel demoralized for no reason, may be because the stupid things I have done in past, or the pride I have in me make me feel very stupid and ignorant. You know just demoralized. I wanted to blog this with chinese but I guess my chinese typing is damn slow. Just do this in english and is less enigmatic.

I remember I read an article quite sometime ago stated that before we meet our true love usually will have to learn about and come to know someone who love you most, and someone you love the most. I guess it is more or less quite true, before you know how to balance love and logic. 

The story begins with the one really loves you  has appeared in your life, but you never really appreciated her, until you realized that the love has lost there will be no Key to undo it. What is left is the fragment of memories. And because of her love, we learn that how much it meant to love someone.

and after knowing that we are capable of love, someone some how will appear to be the one you will love the most.  Love is emotional, and beyond comprehension of logic and make your mind break down if you overdosed with it (for me). Thus, you learn about the pain, dissappointment and some would say absurdity. and the end everything is just mirror flower water moon.

And the journey of life continue, but this time you learn to see beyond the mirror and water,  and see the world with wider perspective because of her, and you learn to balance between love and sanity. And may be because of the reciprocal love that it has between both, the cycle is completed just like babbling Priest will always talk about the meaning of ring during christian wedding. The ring is complete, round, circle and no end, no beginning, no start, no break, eternal revolving, spiralling and etc. So the love, the patience and etc will be going around like merry go round. And thus, after wearing the wedding ring, they will go through the story of third ring.

First ring - Engagement Ring, where anxious heart, excitement and the anticipation of going to have a wedding soon. And both parties are more commited and being Engaged......They say by wearing this ring longer will prevent the reign of 3rd ring.

Second Ring - Wedding Ring, usually it happens to wear it once a life time (officially), and filll with joy and happiness and harmonious love between the two great lovers and blessed by many attendance who cheer for them and wish them all the best (cause they know, the age of third ring will soon reign).

3rd ring- SuffeRing, The third age of ring, that rules over more than half of the human life (wedding at 25 or 30 years old live till 60 age, more than 50percent of your age). This invisible rings, will haunt you and the one you love if the foundation of love is not strong enough, this invisible rings have shattered many family, shed many tears, spill much of blooodzzz, and yet until today it still carries oniwith  its mysterious and legendary task. Much and many people has tried to have countermeasurement and against 3rd ring reigns but wearing the 1st ring longer and to achieve better understanding of what it means to wear a ring. Most human has so far made it to 3rd age of ring. But some extremist or the grudge of 3rd ring is just too strong, they evolve to 4th age of ring which can be the final form.

4th ring - Ring O, it happens when you throw your children into the well and watch too much of video tape that will have ghost crawing out from your TV set, and we are lucky that nowadays there is no more VHS player in our house, so the chances of getting age of 4th Ring is very very rare. But beware, the legend can be revived anywhere anytime.

Someone said: Making a million friends is not a miracle; the miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you. 

I would say, making a million of friends is called networking, working them out like shit is called management, digging an escape route for you when million are stabbing your ass is tunneling??

More than 10 years ago

Out of boredom, today I just dig out ICQ and start to think back how I started playing internet in 1997 which I was just form 2. I think that time we were all using 33.6kbps modem. I remember  the brand I was having is Merz or something. and they are only TMNET and JARING ISP. 

MODEM (modulator- demodulator) 

Going online each minute is about 1.5 cents for phone line and also 1 cent for Internet account. and the only thing people do online is chatting in IRC (internet relay chat) which is now famous for distributing movie, software and files, of course people still chat there, but with MSN, skype and google talk, the numbers really cut down even for ICQ which is famous 10 years ago. 

And also we started to play quake online and quake.tm.net.my and meet many friends from there. But now none of them I still keep in contact except Dennis (nickname TechnoShock[SN])  a remarkle online Quake player at that time. Another player is quilksilver, I still got his MSN, but not his number. Machine running that time is just DOS and windows 95,  not even windows 98, and netscape navigator and IE still fighting for browser wars even until today. 

And back at those day, many new internet users do not know the dangers of Internet, alot of them simply download files, and also read email from stranger which allows trojan horse to be installed at their machine. The most widely use Trojan hourse is BO (Back Orifice) and follow by netbus and also subseven. Hacking in that time is fun and simple. You will need to do some port scanning and also get the server install then you can do all those backdooring easily. Unlike nowadays, that anti virus has grown stronger and virus is more devastating since internet speed is much faster. And the most important thing for BO is to used to steal TMNET and also JARING internet account. And many share using TMNET account since is postpaid and JARING is prepaid so you cannot overload the account. Ended up many are not paying for their TMNET bill after racking up few thousand in their monthly bill which is quite impossible to achieve.

After that, I started to pick up ICQ and also random chatting. There is the time where I find it words are powerful, and also words carries people feeling, for those who are really elite at ICQ till now, most likely they can sense the other person feeling and emotion through the words they type from the other side of the world. 

Just because of random chat I meet up with many of the netfriends , mostly are quakers and some are just college netfriend. The very first one lives in klang I don't even have a driving license, and she invited me to her BBQ party during chinese new year If i was not mistaken, can't really recall her name, no handphone number also, ya that time we still relying one Telekom land line to communicate I guess. And nokia 3210 still not yet being conceived and developed out in market. The only things i remember now is her nickname on ICQ is baby LOL. thinking of this is already 10 years ago. I guess may be she is married by now or ... whatever lar haha..

Then I meet up with few other netfriend which i still keep in touch, who are Candice, that TAR college girl (LOL), Helianthus (can't remember her actual name but when she was studying in Sunway college I went out with her to watch that mou gan dou movie in sunway pyramid) Was after year 2000 i guess.

And one of the Best friend I get from there is Elaine, we still msn alot though now she is 12 hours time difference from mine. I would say getting to know each other on MSN is really fate, and out there is like having so so many people we can meet up is really fate. I am now checking through my ICQ name list is really long, Whoever I encouter if I still have memories about them I just write abit here and there.

Another pretty girl who study in INTI and later work in IBM now, Jessie Ang. I think you can find her on my friendster or facebook.  And also Karena another pretty girl who get married just last year. Sorry for not knowing the dating at valentine has another meaning. 

Kelly Chan and his brother both in INTI also, but now really keep in touch now, dont know whether she get married cause also 30:P haha. Cheaying I met her on ICQ and now in MSN and then we met up and get to know each other. Hope your study is well and all the best.

I meet friends from shah alam section 24,18 and so on, dianne, sherren and also joanne. 3 Of them from same school. I guess we just to ICQ alot last time. Now they seldom online except Sherren is still blogging late night at www.wretch.cc/blog/sherren85/ 

I just check my ICQ friend group, I have quaker 15, friend 57 , inti friend 29, family,inti ICF 29, close friend =3?? and ICQ random 66 and in GENERAL and none group is 221.....net friend 115, some other grouping.........I remember I used to read the old ICQ history, may be is good that I cant read it back now.... It brings back many memories. and now ICQ is really deserted, no one online at my list. 

 

Food for thought

Everyday we need food,  some people want nutritious food, some might want healthy food. Basically I don't care, I eat happily and die happily LOL. But SUBWAY is always my choice if I wanna eat something related to bread. Don't really prefer to much of McD or Burger king, I mean just personal preference nothing too bad. Just think subway is meat and vege is fresh and It has many customization you can do. But don't eat it too often, I mean you might just get too much nutrient or cabohydrate. 

Looook at the pic, that multiple layers of meat and veges. 

Tsunami at 22nd July 2009?

Just couple of days ago I received an Email regarding the Tsunami predicted at 22nd july 2009, then again my friends forwarded me, and today I got another one. Just to really check it out whether is real or not, I have decided the do some googling and found out that it is just some prediction and simulation Idea by some software engineering

http://www.garagegames.com/community/blogs/view/15946

http://www.garagegames.com/community/blogs/view/15933

check out The 2 links above to see how true it is.

Basically it is based on eclipse on July 22 to simulate the earth quake.

---------------------Email contents-----------------------

I just received this message from a colleague. I don't know the source of the message; I also don't know the credibility of the content, but just beware. Below is the content on the message: "Hello there. I just wanted 2 let you know that please stay away from the beaches all around in the month of July. There is a prediction that there will be another tsunami hitting on July 22nd. It is also when there will be sun eclipse. Predicted that it is going 2 be really bad and countries like Malaysia (Sabah & Sarawak), Singapore, Maldives, Australia, Mauritius, Si Lanka, India, Indonesia, Philippines are going 2 be badly hit. Please try and stay away from the beaches in July. Better 2 be safe than sorry. Please pass the word around. Please also pray for all beings." Thanks and have a nice day. Bless you~

--------------------End of contents-------------------

According to the original post, it is JAPANESE QUAKE and TSUNAMI, and it is predicted to be caused by eclipse and has nothing to do with all the mentioned coutries like "Malaysia (Sabah & Sarawak), Singapore, Maldives, Australia, Mauritius, Si Lanka, India, Indonesia, Philippines ". And beyond that, author quoted "I have no plans to create the simulator (but before I drop the idea all together) I thought I'd use a little Psuedo science to make my own earth quake prediction for the July 22 2009 Eclipse."

So as you can see everything is just theory and author Britton LaRoche didn't even create the simulator to run the simulation. And if you continue to read the comments, he stated "the statement :"magma pull out by gravity force of sun and moon, the live magma and medium inside our earth is the major medium that generates gravity field of earth. they form a body of a big magnet that pull all mass towards them, they will never been pull out from crust."

Lastly check out this indian research http://www.indiadaily.com/editorial/12-28c-04.asp

Might be same theory, but who knows correct or wrong since we are not seismic expert.

As a conclusion, as you can see, 22nd July will not have earthquake caused by Eclipse, but who knows that day the activity of tectonic/seismic is great enough to shift the crust, then earthquake might happen. Author did a good job bringing up the idea, but not sure who is the one spreading around the email LOL. So next time do some research before really believe in the email.

New UPDATE just check out snopes.com it has alot of information regarding hoax and false email. http://www.snopes.com/science/tsunami.asp Confirmed is prediction and theory only.

Next time check out snopes.com it has very good information. And please don't forward the KFC is genetic engineered, it has already being confirmed false in snopes.com

Smart Card

Before all this, I never really know smart card can have so many functions and it can be more complicated than just a regular storage. I guess smart card itself is really considered "smart" cause it comes with micro process and also its internal non-volatile memories storage. Other than that, it can have many applications being developed on it. Just like one of the thing I have learn today. 

Previously, I always think that Smart card is just like Mifare, but when really take a closer look at it, smart card is way more advance and smarter than Mifare. May be the Mifare I am is the "dumb" type but nonetheless, previously our Mifare implementation is straight forward, just to previous data storage, read, write and edit it using all PC Base software. So it means all the functions are programmed in PC , and the end result is stored inside the Mifare. That's how we do it, and we always find it nothing too special compare to some temporary storage.

But with today Java Card and JCOPS trainings, I found that smart card can install Java Card application inside it, which means, after the smart card is being issued, we can use Java to reprogram how the Smart card should behave and how it communicates with the PC. It goes back to the time when we need a MCU to talk to our RS232 and Mifare reader, is the same methodologies just this is more organized and simplified. 

Nonetheless, is great to know all this Smart card stuff and start the development of my smart card project. Really great to know all these technical stuff. Here is some pictures of our Smart Card Chips before we sent it out for manufacturing, you know this thing is really small in size, consists of 1 microprocessor, 100k of EEPROM and RAM, another 32k of ROM, if i am not mistaken. but usable EEPROM is 72k after filling in with OS and some Java VM. What I am holding is a 20 pieces of Smart Card Chip. And IS CHEAP.

The gold color side is the front side of smart card chip that you all usually see, the darker side is actually the back of the smart chip, it can link to an antenna to become contactless smart card. and the microprocessor and everything is so small, like a small square box.

Beer the before and after

Some people who never really taste beer and what is the after effect of beer. I mean you get drunks after drinking beer.  In normal circumstances, you will see everything clear and bright. But your beer will be blur and hard to drink, cause is bitter. Like tony leong said, why people like to drink beer? is because is bitter to drink.

After you get drunk, you will see everything damn blur, and you don't even know what's going on. The only thing you want is beer beer beer after that...... LOL